no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
