He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
