I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize