I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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