Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
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