chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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