while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
