sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
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