And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
