Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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