the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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