I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
