hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
