i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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