Welp...herpes.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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