I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
