If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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