The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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