just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
