Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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