Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize