Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
