I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
