Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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