her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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