Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
