hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
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can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
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Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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