Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize