Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
