She's JV to your varsity
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
