His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
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I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
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if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
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