And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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