But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
