Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
