I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Randomize
