I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
