Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
