Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
