2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
