i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
