people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
