May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
