it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
