it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
