i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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