you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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