I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
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