Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Randomize