I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I know her cup size but not her name....
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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