So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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