Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
