if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
