You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
