mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Found the puke drawer
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Randomize
