May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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