Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Hippo gnu deer
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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