we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
