Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
