My friends, they love my intelligence
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
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