his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
