I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
May the power of my ass compel you!!
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
