Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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