My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
