So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
She just used a chaser for red wine.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
