I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
