I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Randomize
