so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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