How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
two words...techno handjob
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Randomize
