Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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